Anonymous said: yeah but being non-binary just to absolve myself of cis guilt seems disengenous, when i dont associate myself with anything remotely non-binary, and i definitely feel super girl-y. i dont present myself in any neutral stance, it just feels weird to me, i just hate that i have to choose between being a trans man (no) or just being a cis gay girl who will never be accepted by any group of queer ladies no matter how gay i am because im not non-binary or agender
for one, you would have to try very very hard to find an “invalid” reason for analyzing and critiquing and rejecting the structures of cisness in your life. for another, if any group of queer folks would refuse to accept you, a queer lady, because you aren’t nb then they sound kinda like assholes to me.
anyway here’s a bigass post by jobhaver that i think is really good and informative about how cisness really only serves dudes and what that means for afab ladies
anon’s anxiety really underscores why I think it’s important never to let the idea of optional/exploratory political queerness mutate into the idea of politically obligatory queerness
if rhetoric is shaped such that there appears to be no morally acceptable identity for an onlooking afab person, and amab people hold exclusive access to the most correct modes of queer existence, then there’s been a major wrong turn somewhere along the line, because that’s utterly messed up. I don’t think this is a common view at all among the trans community, but the implication seems to pop up here and there, sometimes in unintentional forms
I think when one gets to the point of recommending being an afab trans woman, that indicates either that we’re operating on a level of abstraction well beyond how most people understand those terms, or that there’s a motivation to politically justify an existence that doesn’t actually need such justification